Monday, September 30, 2002 : Well the party was a smashing (and I do mean 'smashed') success. My ex, Ricardo, the consummate host(ess) arrived on Saturday and promptly rearranged all my furniture so that everyone would have room to move around and have a place to put their food and drinks. It actually turned out pretty nice (the arrangement) with the exception that the big stuffed chair was moved in front of the window with the view of the ocean and partially blocked it (I know, poor baby). We crammed seven gay (and one supposedly bisexual) men into my little itty bitty apartment. It was nice to see my ex, we actually have been civil with each other and have decided we can be pretty good friends. He did a great job preparing some great food for the guests. We had plenty o' vino and mixed vodka drinks. One of the guests was Mario (the other half of Robert, who also was there, and the two of which had the three-way with my friend Scott, who also was there) who is this adorable Cuban-descent 24 year old who has more maturity and common sense than many people I know twice his age. Although adorable he has only had sex with 5 people in his life -- Robert was #4, Scott #5. He could have much more sex if he wanted but he chooses not to, because as he describes himself, he is "not promiscuous" and if faithful to his man. It was after very serious discussion (and I think fear of losing Robert) that he agreed to have the three-way with Scott. Anyway, to my utter horror, Scott and Ricardo tell me the next morning (did I go to bed or did someone put me there?) that I had my hand down Mario's pants at the end of the evening. I was appalled that I had blacked out. Asking about my behaviour, all agreed I behaved myself very well with the exception of my hand, and as Ricardo pointed out, "Mario did not seem to mind, and in fact encouraged you throughout the evening." Conveniently, Mario and Robert had left their blender, and so I called them up and ended up having a lovely chat with Mario, at which time I apologized for not being a gentleman, and expressed regret at not remembering his, ah, well "member."
Sunday was spent recovering, and Ricardo went out to lunch with a friend of his he hasn't seen since he visited us when we lived together in Incline Village at Lake Tahoe. He had a great reunion (I won't mention why I was not invited... suffice it to say this friend brought his boyfriend who too is hispanic, young, cute, and was attracted to me...) Ricardo and I went to West Hollywood and had dinner at the new fabulous "gotta be seen there" restaurant at the corner of Robertson and Santa Monica Blvd. We shared a bottle of wine (the waiter went across the street to find a wine cooler -- or so he said) and had the beginnings of an arguement about some past issues, but kept it in check and all-in-all had a nice evening. On our way out we had a chat with the owner at which point Ricardo explained what he needed to do to improve the menu items that he had just experienced. : )
Tomorrow I leave to Atlanta for a few days while Ricardo has his little vacation and watches after Kitty.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 : Surfers, dolphins and waves, oh my! On my way to work this morning I was feeling much more relaxed than I've felt for the last few weeks -- I've been feeling tense and anxious. But today finally I was in a "stop and smell the roses" kinda mood, and I noticed a lot of beauty. While stopped at a stop light I looked out over the very foggy morning to see hundreds of surfers sitting quietly on their boards with their all black wet suits, waiting for the next set of waves to come in. There were no waves at the time and it was a funny site to see so many surfers sitting casually on their boards. It looked almost like an afternoon tea party or some social event. Then just down the road at another stop light, I saw a dolphin jumping out of the water and playing. It was a nice sight to see.
My ex is coming to visit this Saturday and will stay for a week while I travel. He will house-sit and watch my cat (he's beautiful, half-siamese, half-himalayan). A bunch of people are coming over Sat. night to my apartment for drinks and hour derves (sp?) and that I am looking forward to. My friend Scott and his friends Robert and Mario (a couple who he had a 3-way with the other day :0) and two of my exes' (Ricardo) friends will all be visiting. A house full of incestuous fags all drinking alcohol. Should be really interesting. Scott and Ricardo got caught with their pants down while we were still together by Scott's ex-wife. THAT was a fun day. There's only gonna be two people in the room that Scott hasn't had sex with (and mind you this guy is 'bisexual' and prefers women, yeah right) and that's only because he hasn't met them yet. Any bets on if they have sex before the night is over?
Friday, September 20, 2002 : I need a vacation. I've been back working for about a year and haven't had a vacation to speak of (other than my long weekend to san francisco, but that doesn't count). I used to go to Puerta Vallarta every December where i have a time share and hang out on the beach and party with the boys at the gay clubs in town. Then I met Ricardo my ex and we ended up living together and the rest is history. My last trip was a year ago April when I went to Sydney just in time for the Gay Pride. I used my airline miles and went fricking FIRST CLASS. I love first class, especially international! I used my hotel points and got free hotel. Thus, a practically all-expenses-paid trip to the down under! I loved Sydney. When I was there, they were having some financial crisis and the AUS dollar was very cheap compared to US. Everything cost about half as much as the states. The Aussies are very genuine, handsome, sweet people. I met a guy the first night I was there who ended up being my 'tour guide' for my time there.
My trip before that was about four months before to Puerta Vallarta, before that Amsterdam with my ex, before that London/Paris, which was fabulous!!!! And so I'm itching to go abroad again. I'm thinking of Rio de Janero, or Capetown. I've never been to S. America, Africa, Asia. So any of those will do. I still have enough airline miles from my last job to get me overseas first class a couple more times (or once with my new boyfriend after I meet him).
Thursday, September 19, 2002 : Running naked on the beach at 2:00 a.m.My friend S. came over Tuesday night to hide from his psycho girlfriend (more on that later) and we stayed up partying and watching dvd's until an unGodly hour (for a school night). The night was beautiful and balmy. Scott talked me into running naked in the surf, which I did not want to do, but eventually gave into. I had never done this before in my life, and I'm glad we did it. I haven't had that much fun in a LONG time. We both took the day off the next day (a "mental health day") and went to see "Road to Perdition" which was not the best choice of movies for cheering us up. Very dark and disturbing film. Paul Newman and Tom Hanks were great, but be aware it is violent and very dark, sometimes slow moving for you adventure movie fans.
Monday, September 16, 2002 :
Wow what a gorgeous day it was yesterday. I took a walk on the boardwalk and over to the pier and stood at the edge looking back at the beach, the crowds, the blue sky, the ocean, planes taking off from LAX over the Pacific. It was warm but there was a gentle cool breeze blowing and made the day absolutely perfect. I wondered to myself why I did not get out and do this more often? I live on the beach and I sit in my apartment looking out at the beauty and rarely participate in it! After returning from my walk, I pulled a chair up to the floor-to-ceiling window and perched myself there with a glass of wine, with the T.V. off and watched the sun's rays setting on the beach and the coastline (my window faces south, so I can't see the actual sun, but just its rays on the land and buildings). Seagulls were slowly gliding over my head (or so it seemed) where I sat in my apartment on the 7th floor of my building. Sailboats were strewn all over the bay, I could see Catalina Island and the Palos Verdes Penninsula, and far in the distance was a barge seemingly parked off the coast. Roller bladers, bicyclists, joggers, walkers, lovers, were everywhere, taking in the final rays of the weekend. It was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable evenings in a long time.
The rest of the weekend was interesting. On Saturday I went to this thing called Romeo II, which is a gay matchmaking service. They cater to guys like me who are tired of the bar scene and don't like meeting guys in gay chat rooms. Professionals mostly looking for a comitted relationship. So I decided to sign up and I'll keep ya posted! I'm also reading a book "Finding the Boyfriend Within" by Gooch which is about learning to love yourself so you can love someone else in a relationship.
Lot's more I want to share, but I gotta get back to work, busy day here.
Thursday, September 12, 2002 :
Meetings in L.A.
Gym at lunch.
Meetings at the main office.
My friend Scott's ex-father-in-law died yesterday on 9-11. He was all crying and sad (Scott not the guy who died) and called me up last night to talk. He was like a father to him. It's very sad. The funeral is Sunday.
Almost quitting time.
I'm going in Saturday for an interview with this gay dating service called Romeo II. I'll hear the sales pitch and maybe I'll give it a try?! I could use a little romance in my life. I only have one gay friend and one bi friend, and could use some more! I left all my gay friends back in San Fran, and have not had the time or inclination to make new (gay) friends here. I'd like to, so let's see how this dating thing goes.
Wednesday, September 11, 2002 :
Yesterday was a great day. Not for any spectacular reason, but mostly because of lots of little reasons that added up to something special. My ex Ricardo and I had a chat on the phone. He is coming to visit me in October for a few days and will house sit and watch "kitty" for me while I travel on a business trip. Upon my return from that trip I am picking up my ailing father and will be 'baby sitting' him for a week while my mom takes a trip to visit my sister and her family in Albuqurque.
I've been so busy at work this week I have hardly had time to blog. Which if my employer were reading this, they'd be happy to know!
I'm frustrated that I can not share everything about me, especially where I work. And yet I am very tempted to "come out" and say it. Unfortunately, if anyone from my "place of work" were to read my blogs, they'd figure out who I am and before I know it, I'm outted, and my career here would be rather finished. Sad, eh?
And with that note I ask that anyone reading this, if you figure out from my next comments where I work, PLEASE don't be nasty and email a friend of a friend who you know is affiliated with the place. Please???
I work at a fairly well known University. Today was our annual "Founder's Day" celebration, replete with regalia and fanfare. The gymnasium is filled with dignitaries, alumni, students, faculty, board members. I participated by donning a graduation robe and graduation cap/tassle, along with other fellow alumni, and held high a banner with the year of my graduation class. It really is quite dramatic as the very first class year marches in, followed single file by subsequent graduating classes, until finally the last person to march in holding their banner is the future class of 2006 (these get the most cheers from the students). The whole gymnasium cheers as we march in and find our seat. It was exciting, and emotional. The keynote speaker was a minister who had served at ground zero for several weeks/months and he shared some of the stories of his experiences there. Videos were shown, and it was all I could do to try and remain emotionally detached, less I start to sob or cry.
The most visually dramatic part of the ceremony had to be when we all left the stadium, in utter silence, and marched single file down the middle of the main street on campus to the Alumni Park where another ceremony was to commence. Public safety officers had the street blocked off as hundreds of robed and capped pedestrians marched silently, in line to the ceremony. Bystanders were watching in silence and some were clearly moved by the spectacle they were seeing. As I marched in silence I took the time to take in the surroundings -- the beautiful day, the clear blue sky, the surrounding mountains and natural beauty of the campus.
"Heroes can give their lives all at one time, or they can give a little each day." -- Deena Burnett, wife of Flight 93 hero and alumnus Tom Burnett.
Monday, September 09, 2002 :
All in all, I'd say this weekend was pretty productive and relaxing. I actually got up early each day (between 8-9), worked out both days, got my car washed, took a walk on the beach, went to a family birthday party. The comedy show gig fell through. All my friends conked out on me and I did not feel like going alone, so I stayed home and watced the Lord of the Rings dvd.
Got a meeting in a few minutes. I'll check back when I have more time to organize my thoughts....
Friday, September 06, 2002 :
A short work week but a productive and fulfilling one in the end. I had my annual review today with my boss. She has been putting it off for over a month now (I already got my raise in my check -- whe was supposed to go the review before I saw how much my increase was). I was in fact, the last person to get a review. I was beginning to think she was putting it off because she had difficult things to tell me! But as it turned out, my review was great and she is very happy and pleased with me.
I tired, and wanna go home (I'm still at the office) and it's Friday (Thank God) and I'm looking forward to going home and watching a video and relaxing. Tomorrow night I'm going to see a friend perform in a stand up comedy place here in Hollywood. Michael Troy is his name. We met a few weeks ago and had a single date and have not had one since. And so tomorrow me and Carlos and maybe Scott and Carlos' boyfriend and some others maybe, will all show up at his show (he invited me) to support him. Otta be interesting.
I'm feeling good today about myself. I was a little down earlier in the week, but I've noticed people 'checking me out' and I feel attractive and sexy. Haven't felt that way in a while. And hey, my boss loves me. What else is there?
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 : Where were you on September 11, 2001? I thought about this last night as I watched some of the new broadcasts about 911. On 9/09/01 I was unemployed having been forced to resign from a software company I had worked for several years. I was in the third month of my newly purchased home with a mortgage payment and fees of nearly $4,000/month. I had some potential job offerings in the works, but nothing for sure. My house was up for sale, although I had just closed a few months prior. I was living in Reno with a spectacular view of the city. The year prior I was living in Incline Village NV, on lake Tahoe. My ex partner and I had lived there together for a year before we split.
On September 10, 2001 I suddenly had two solid offers on the house. Both were for more than what I had paid for it 3 months earlier. Think about this. Remember how just about all commerce and our world shut down the days and weeks after 911? I would have been headed for financial disaster had these legal offers not come in and been accepted (one of them) on the 10th.
On September 11, 2001 I was sleeping in when the phone rang and it was my mother. She said "turn on the T.V.!!" in a very panicked voice. I said 'what's wrong?' She said 'just turn on the t.v. the world trade center's been attacked by terrorists" and she hung up. I turned on the T.V. and I don't think I turned it off for a week. I saw every report, every coverage anyone would want (or not want) to see. I had a view of the Reno airport from my house and it was earily quiet with no planes landing or taking off, as I listened to reports like "never in US history has the aviation system been shut down like this' and 'never in our history has the stock market been closed for this length of time. My job leads went dry. The phone did not ring. I hesitated to call figuring that everyone would be concerned about themselves and their families and be glued to the TV. I cried a lot that week. Bawled my eyes out. I was all alone in a 3000 sq foot house watching horror unfold on my big-screen TV. I was unemployed, soon to be homeless. I was about to sell or donate all my worldly possessions so I could move into a small apartment somewhere, and all I could do was watch TV.
Almost a year later, I'm in a better place! I did sell and donate my things, now have a wonderful job where I'm appreciated and is fairly stress-free. I live on the beach in Santa Monica with a spectacular view, my depression is gone. I'm all in favor of a 'cluttered free' life. Getting rid of 'stuff' is very liberating!
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 :
Friday went well. Universal City Walk is quite the hang out place apparently for young (straight) people. The boys and I bowled at Jillians, which is a very hip bowling alley. It looks more like a night club than bowling alley. And everyone there was dressed to kill. These young ladies on vacation played in the lane next to us (there were six gay men in all) and were actually flirting with us. I was the one to break the news. I put my arm around the very flirty blonde girl and told her we were all gay and I pointed out the two sets of couples to her. She said 'I was wondering about that!" -- since we were not apparently being swayed by her advances. All in all it was fun. Scott and I went to a gay bar in Studio City (the Apache) for a drink or two. It was quite dead in there, but there were a number of cuties most of which were all onto Scott.
The rest of the long weekend was a big DUD. I was feeling congested in my chest, and lazy, and I did not leave the fricking house once. I played video games all weekend and slept in every day. And I drank WAY too much wine. I swear I think I'm an alchoholic. I know I should not drink but I can't seem to stop!
My ex (Ronald) got out of jail on the 1st, and I got an email from him that day. Short and sweet, nothing much. At least he does not appear to be looking for me to kill me or anything. :)
I'm feeling kinda funky right now. I'm heading for lunch.
Formerly "A Day in the life of a Gay Guy", I've changed the name to reflect more of how I'm thinking. Being Gay is not the focal point of my life. I'm a guy with interests like everyone else, I just happen to be Gay.
